Thursday, July 17, 2003


state of mind: restless, should i dump him or not?

i spoke with my dad last night
he says he'll be fine
i'm so glad...
i was soooo scared of losing him....

mr. h said that a mild stroke is like a warning
that my dad's not taking care of his body the way that he should...
i think it was sort of a warning for me too,
that life is short
that i'm still fortunate to have him and my family
that i shouldn't take them for granted...


when does it become really certain
that you could just do without the person
u've been in love with years ago?

when do u know for sure that ur relationship is actually over???


i saw evanescence last night in the WB Smash
i love bring me to life
my sister says it's a vampire-inspired song...
it seems like it....

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

:( VERY SAD :( 

this is hot_pinay's phone conversation with non-xsistnt bf, this a.m.
background: non-xsistnt bf recently moved, and used to sleep on a couch
but now that he has his own room, he needs a bed

hot_pinay: when r u getting a bed?
non-xsistnt bf: i dunno
hot_pinay: how r we gonna fuck?
non-xsistnt bf: all u ever think about is sex, dammnnn!!!
hot_pinay: can't u take a joke?
no response from non-xsistnt bf...
hot_pinay hung up...

i felt like a whore when he said what he said
it made me think about a whole lot of things...

i'm still thinking...

i just received a disturbing text msg from my mom
saying that my dad suffered from a mild stroke
this is what i hate about being 10,000 miles away from home
i'm always the last to know about all these important things

i'm scared about my dad's health
i'm scared of losing him
i'm scared that it may be soon
and i'm still stuck here
waiting till my fuckin' greencard gets approved...

maybe God is punishing me
because of sex
because i have sex
and think of sex
and i dunno...

i'm really scared...
fuck this!!!

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

METROBUS 94,394 

state of mind: numb

today, i started missin glendale
sure i had to get up earlier to catch the bus,
but i became sooooo used to the 94 and 394
i feel like all the other bus lines suck!!!
they just want me to wait too long
and suffer!

bus lines 94 and 394: ur the greatest


i think i'm gonna watch pirates of the carribean
with my sis and her bf later...
i'm hopin it's a good movie
i want to see LXG though...


i'm getting sleepy...
and bored...

(what?!?!?! what about my bf?
who said i still had a bf...)

Monday, July 14, 2003


sex appeal


this is sooooo funny... but really true!!!

Sexy Secretary
You are every secretary's nightmare

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


state of mind: i'm hopin for better days...

i forgot to tell you that i was also moving
same day my bf moved...
i'm still kinda exhausted
some boxes with clothes and thingies are still unopened
the apartment is still a mess,
i'm hoping we get to organize everything soon...

as for my bf, who doesn't seem to care
if he gets to spend time with me...
screw him!!!

(does that make me self-centered bitch?!?!)

anyways, there's this movie comin out on sept this year
it's called the underworld
from the movie's trailer,
it looks pretty much like the matrix,
like the action scenes and all
it seems like a cool movie...

hmmmm... can't wait for this day to end!!!

Friday, July 11, 2003


state of mind: frustrated, very frustrated

it would have been a nice lovely friday.
but my bf had to ruin it
he said escrow had already closed and
he's moving to palmdale with his family
which is like a 2 hour drive from my place
and i don't have car or a license to drive yet
so basically what he wants me to do
is just to see him on only saturdays...
he sucks!!!

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